Ever heard a phrase from your parents that goes ” you will know what i meant, when you have your own baby”, when they cant figure out what to do with you.
My 9 years old son tantrum and complain everyday, with everything. Before it was cute, but the older he gets the annoying it become. He is the quite type of kid, when angry or disappointed, he will just stare at you (frowning) and shuts up. They say that its better to have a cry baby than having a kid that loves to play silent treatment.
Honestly, most of the time i don’t know how to deal with him. But being more HONEST, i know. Because that was me, many years ago (too lazy to count back the years ). Every time, my son makes his game of tantrum, i think back why i tantrum before. Just to know and understand my sons emotion and to how to fix it. Mostly, its all about attention (like me before) and sometimes trust. But whenever i cant figure it out, 2 things pops on my mind ” Now you know what your parents is talking about” and “Damn, i was such a headache before!” 🙂
The advantage of knowing what you and your parents parenting before is that you can learn from it. I live with my grandparent when i was a kid, they are very strict with everything but super generous on rewards (ONLY WHEN YOUR GOOD)! Whenever i tantrum, the initial reaction is to scold and when i done something really bad i get hit (YUP they do that before, and its all good, thinking back how bratty i was). But one thing i don’t remember them teaching me how to say sorry for what i have done. I wanted to say sorry whenever im being bratty, but after i got scolded or hit, everything is back to normal again and it seems unnecessary already.
So every time my son realize what he is doing was wrong and so annoying (after scolding, and mini argument) , i give him a privilege to say sorry to me. Usually i also play silent treatment until he is sorry (HAHAHA!). I also apologize to him from getting mad, and the important thing is to say verbally that you accepted his apology.
How do you deal with your kids tantrum?